Today I was walking around the room, and a kid was telling a very suspenseful and dramatic story about driver ed or something, and gesticulating, and as I was walking up behind him, his gesticulating hand crashed right onto my boob. Not like a minor brush, either. He got an unignorable handful. Thank goodness I was wearing a bra today.
He snatches his hand away as if he was burned. I'm making a wide-eyed, silent-scream "!!!!" face at him; he's making the same face back at me.
In my misguided attempt to use humor to diffuse the situation, I say probably the worst possible thing of all things I could say at that moment,
"Geesh. The last guy who did that bought me dinner first."Child: mortified. Classmates: in hysterics. Somehow, we got on with a math lesson.
So THEN, after school, I look up from my desk, and his mom is standing at my door. I think, "Oh, nooo" and brace for impact.
But, no, she just happened to be at school, and wanted to say hi and check in.